Fat Heffalump

I... am tempted to hide behind anon for this but that I've complained about this on my own tumblr and I'm hoping this isn't a widespread thing. Have you ever had people pointedly what feels like dieting /at/ you? Like... Even if they are dieting for other reasons, very pointedly pointing their diet remarks at you, as if saying "why aren't YOU doing this?" If so... Do you have any idea for how to handle it?

Oh yeah, that one is all too common. It happens for several reasons. Let’s think of a few:

They think because THEY hate their bodies and want to be thin, that EVERYONE hates their body and wants to be thin.
They don’t have the guts to say “You should go on a diet.” or some other judgey, fat-shaming thing, so they pretend to be all concerned for you, and drop very un-subtle hints.
They are trying to bond with you through diet talk. Sadly our culture conditions women to bond through body-shaming and diet talk. Some people just don’t know what else to talk about when they want to get to know someone.
When most people are dieting, food and diets are all they can think about, so they never talk about anything else.
They are miserable dieting, and they want someone else to be miserable with them.

There are probably lots of others, but my brain won’t let me think of them!

How to handle it? Well, it depends who it is. Some people, I’d just say “Fuck off and take your body shaming with you.” But you know, sometimes it’s your MIL, or your boss, or the Vicar’s wife. So realistically, you can’t do that. I usually try not to be around people like that. If I absolutely have to, I’ll stick my iPod in my ears, or sometimes I’ll just change the subject.

Sometimes though, it’s a person who you care about, so you want to be tactful. I’m not very good at tactful. I usually blurt out things like “I don’t hate my body, perhaps you should try not hating yours.” or “God talking about dieting is so damn BORING! Can we talk about the weather or something?”

But if you really want to take someone aside, be honest, tell them that you find it triggering or upsetting, and you’d appreciate it if they didn’t talk about dieting around you, and in return, you won’t talk about the foods they’re not allowed to have on their diet around them. That’s only fair.

Good luck, and remember - your body, your choices.